Dyelirium

Six days. That’s how long I didn’t listen to music. That’s nearly a week without the sounds I usually crave like a drug addict. Normally, I don’t go for very long without taking a time-out to sit down and really listen to some tunes to calm my mind, but for that time, there was nothing.

I mean, there was some music, but it was merely in the background – on a TV or the radio being played by my sis while we were working in the yard. I wasn’t really listening to any of it. I couldn’t. My car was silent. My headphones collected dust. All I could hear while I was sitting in front of my PC was the rhythmically retarded clacking of the keys pounded out by someone who never learned how to type.

It took a while, but on that seventh day I eventually listened to a song because a friend asked me to listen to. I did it, but I felt…guilty. I felt like I didn’t deserve any kind of enjoyment. I started listening to a song here and there, but I kept it to a minimum and just went about my life, but I just couldn’t – go about my life, I mean. Everything was different, and there was no way I was ever going to be the same.

The six days I didn’t listen to music started on the day my father died – May 27, 2011. That day, my entire world collapsed and fell silent. You may wonder what my dad has to do with music. Well, for me, he has everything to do with how I came to love music. He was one of my musical mentors.

From as early as I can remember, my dad loved listening to music. He always had a radio going or a record playing on the weekends when he was working around the house or just chilling out. When we were little girls, my sisters and I would jump around and dance while he sat in the living room, with a big smile on his face, and listened to Doo-Wop oldies of the early late 50’s and early 60’s; classic rock of the 70’s and mainstream rock of the early 80’s. He loved it all, which, in turn, made me love it all as well.  Of the thousands of memories I have of my dad, many of them have a musical root.

The picture on the left is my father and I at my graduation from graduate school. He was so proud that I got a Master’s Degree, and it shows in the pic. It’s one of the reasons I love it. The other reason is that spectacular tie he has on!

I could go on, in great detail, talking about my dad, but I will, instead, share one thing. Not that long before he passed, he finally broke down and bought an iPhone. He really fought it, and maintained that all he needed was a phone that he could make and receive calls with; however, I knew that he secretly always wanted one as he was pretty fascinated with mine.  Once he got that “smart” phone, he couldn’t wait to get some music on it. I bought him a gift card for his birthday, and he immediately started filling that phone up with music.

I recently sat down his iPhone, hit shuffle and listened in an effort to somehow feel his presence. These are 15 of the songs that played, and although it was with tears in my eyes, they all made me smile. I can place a memory with each one. I want to share with you the spectrum of what he liked to listen to:

Mony Mony by Tommy James & The Shondells – I can still see him dancing to this one. Although he dug the Billy Idol cover, he was vehement in his arguments that it couldn’t touch this version.

Wouldn\’t It Be Nice by The Beach Boys – Forever a lover of The Beach Boys, this was definitely one of his faves.

Ain\’t That a Kick in the Head by Dean Martin – I can honestly say that this was probably one of his top 5 favorite songs. Every single time it came on his radio or CD player, he always said, “Awww, yeah…this is just the best song isn’t it?”

Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye by Steam – Dad was a life-long fan of the Chicago White Sox. This was always the song played to taunt visiting teams & he loved it.

Bad Moon Rising by Creedence Clearwater Revival – Huge fan of CCR, and this was definitely one of those songs I can still hear him whistling along to.

Fly Me to the Moon by Frank Sinatra – Both of my parents were down with Sinatra. I have pictures flashing in my head of them dancing to this.

Sharp Dressed Man by ZZ Top – The one band my dad just tortured my mom with. It seemed the more disgusted she looked, the louder he made it. I love him for that!

Reach Out (I\’ll Be There) by The Four Tops – This song just reminds me of what a huge fan of Motown and 60′s music in general my dad was. There was a time where you could name a song recorded between 1957 and 1969 and my dad could tell you the artist and label it came out on.

Suspicious Minds by Elvis Presley – Dad always dug Elvis…come to think of it, he kinda looked like him for a while Gotta love those long sideburns.

Born In the USA by Bruce Springsteen – You cannot comprehend how many times we were subjected to this album as kids – this song in particular. I remember many a time where my mother would shake her head and tell one of us to go downstairs and tell him to shut it down.

Proud Mary by Ike & Tina Turner – Faithful to the original CCR version, he still couldn’t help but love the pace of the Ike&Tina cover.

(I Can\’t Get No) Satisfaction by The Rolling Stones – Me: “The Rolling Stones, Dad?” Dad: “Everyone loves at least one of their songs.”

Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis – “Damn, Diana….that guy could play a piano. Start it again.”

Where the Streets Have No Name by U2 – Dad wasn’t really a fan of U2, but he couldn’t get enough of The Joshua Tree.

Chelsea Dagger by The Fratellis – The current Chicago Blackhawks celebratory song. Dad was mad into hockey, and he first heard this during a game and had to know who performed it. In the end, he really did dig this song. Go Dad!

Soolaimon/Brother Loves Traveling Salvation Show by Neil Diamond – Man he loved this song, and it had to be this version. If we played the regular studio version of Brother Love, it just wasn’t good enough for him. He would sigh and say, “Nah…it has to be the live version with Soolaimon, man!”

My dad retired very shortly before he passed away, so I always remember him working. His hobbies were minimal, but he did end up getting very into carpentry, and when there wasn’t a table saw or sander drowning it out, we could hear his CD player blaring in the garage. He would either be singing or whistling along with the music. Every now and then, when he didn’t realize we could hear him, he would let loose a Yeah!, accompanied by a clap that would make my sister and I giggle.

Along with a love for music, my dad left behind a rather large inventory of awesome tools including a huge table saw, sabre saw, scroll saw, hand saws, drill press, biscuit joiner, palm sanders, belt sander, planer, chisels, as well as numerous tools I can’t identify and about 5,000 clamps, screws and bolts. I am going to make it my personal mission to learn how to use all of it and build…something. I will start with a box. He always told me -

“Diana, start with just a plain box. If you can make a box, and all the corners are square, then you’re set. You’ll be able to make anything.”

While I work tirelessly at making that box, as well as the best sawdust ever, there will be music blasting in the background, and, in a way, I will never really be without my father.